never play flip cup with pint glasses
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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