woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
