Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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