i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
