i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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