piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
