How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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