I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
