Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
