well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
