So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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