JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
