I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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