I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
