she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
