im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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