My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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