My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
