I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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