she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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