Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
