I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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