Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
