dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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