dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
A+ Viking dick
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
