I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
