...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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