Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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