I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
