You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
