In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
