We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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