we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
