What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
