She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
