He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
