Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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