i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
