BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
