Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
