Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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