I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
