Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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