Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
