Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
