you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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