I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She's not a foreskin expert like you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
His nipple licking is glorious
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