i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
