So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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