He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
