So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
