Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
