Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
